Snakes to Sticks! Another D&D story

So this all came about because my friend asked if I thought anyone had ever cast “snakes to sticks” in 2nd edition d&d. Keep in mind, you would have had to prepare the spell separately (like having sticks to snakes prepared wouldn’t let you do it), and his argument was basically that he couldn’t picture any scenario where it would happen. So of course this made me want to come up with one. For simplicity I’m just saying sticks to snakes and snakes to sticks were both in 5th edition as separate spells, maybe just for nature clerics, let’s say (nature or all both work). With all that in mind, here it is:

Okay, so what if snake island was sinking (very suddenly too, over the course of only about a day), and you’ve got an island full of snakes that you want to save. You have enough space for all of them in the one ship you have quick access to, but it would be so much mass on the bottom snakes that most of them would be crushed. Fortunately you have access to the cleric bat signal- sending, and there is a permanent teleportation circle on the island (it is snake island, after all). Now last night, many clerics had a dream, because someone used a wish that they would after the events of that tragic day, so many drowned snakes first, so many crushed sneks second. Interestingly enough it was actually a mindflayer who used the wish (I’m using some wobbly time logic here, basically octopus creatures being able to see time differently than we do like that one that could predict the world cup games), to convey the information one night into what we would call the past and hopefully change fate.

It prompted all the nature clerics to prepare snakes to sticks, and each travel to the closes mage guilds (magically augmented if necessary) to gain quick passage to snake island (through entirely different means, the mages were also expecting something important to happen on this day, and were forthcoming with their assistance) so that reminiscent of the signal fires in Lord of the Rings, all the clerics of the realm were able to mob the island before it an, assist and move all the sneks safely to the other side, as sticks.

Every year this night is celebrated, in conjunction with the Night of Mysterious Objects (not always on the same night mind you, but always in conjunction), by clerics preparing one use of snakes to sticks, and if they see any kind of snake they must cast it, hold the snek like a staff, rod, or wand for the duration (depending on the original size of the snek here, of course).

During the duration, you must also press down on their wooden head periodically and proclaim “I crush your head” such that ancient curses may be preserved as valid (a prophecy had been made regarding the crushing of snakes after seers saw the drowning day had been avoided, this curse of crushing needed still to be fulfilled, but fortunately the wording was vague enough to allow the party bard to come up with this little humanitarian interpretation which so far has not brought down any divine wrath).

Clerics often prepare neutralize poison on this day as well, just in case.

The sneks, by this point have figured out the clerics’ game and the whys behind it and truly appreciate it, but the issue is that sometimes a hand in the wrong place when they reanimate may trigger a instinctual bite that is too difficult to resist. Usually though it ends in a fairly well choreographed dropping of the now ‘furious’ snek, who proceeds to land, ‘shake it off’ momentarily and then start chasing a little ways after the cleric who has already begun to run, arms swingin’, knees comically high, holding his hat (real or imaginary), and depending on the region hootin’, hollerin’, or perhaps a huehuehue.

Finally, this is one day you’ll see consistent solidarity between sneks and lizards, as all of each will exit the jungle upon a reawakening (hearin’ the hootin’ as the cleric is running off usually prompts the locals to join), and menace the escaping cleric, and the lizards’ ability to shake their fists is so highly prized (and enjoyable to use) that they set aside their differences to allow for the shaking of fists on this one day, in conjunction with the Night of Mysterious Objects, each year. I think one is coming up quite soon actually.

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~ by songoflove on February 2, 2017.

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